3/27/09 Meeting Notes
I would like especially to thank Joanne Stickles and Larry Hurst for their wonderful work in putting out these Notes and lists in record time. I would also like to thank Rick Savage, Elizabeth’s husband, for recording our meeting, and also the entirety of Elizabeth’s Restoring Connection group for all they contributed to the emergence of of this new Focusing experience. Cynthia Callsen
Notes were generously prepared by Joanne Stickles
Notes from NY Metro Focusing Meeting March 27, 2009
Cynthia Callsen warmly welcomed the group of more than 40 attendees. She introduced Elizabeth Lehmann with gratitude for her sharing with the group her “Restoring Connection” model. Presentation Elizabeth had set a lovely small, cloth-covered table with two large decorative bowls. Each was filled with water and floating candles. In between them was a large single candle. Elizabeth welcomed the group and explained that her presentation would use all the allotted time tonight so there would be a Q & A follow- up teleconference on Sunday evening (3/29) from 8:00 – 9:00 p.m. Directions for participating in that w ere in the packet she provided. The packet was a folder which also included an outline of her presentation, handouts she referred to in her talk and an amazing 8 x 10 color photograph of a lake scene in the fall called “As Above, So Below”. It also contained a CD of Restoring Connection guided exercised for our use at home. She then began by describing one of her core beliefs which is how important it is that we each trust our own inner knowing, which we call the felt sense. She explained that she would be leading the group in some guided experiences and that we should first trust our own higher wisdom if we needed to ignore one of her suggestions. If something doesn’t feel right, honor what does. During the opening grounding/centering guiding experience she led the group to an inner place where we could anchor ourselves. Then she said: “During tonight’s presentation, at some point you might experience some activation, a sense of feeling unsettled. Perhaps you have already. Just know that experiencing activation is a completely natural part of the human experience. When you notice activation, invite yourself to simply bring your awareness back to your home base, your anchor, and the places in your body where you’re feeling more settled, more supported, more grounded. Allow yourself to connect more and more with those places until you notice you’re more settled. At that point you’ll probably notice your attention returning naturally to the presentation”. She explained the bowls and that the candles floating there were circles within circles. She invited us to notice that our gathering was a circle of people that exists within many larger circles including the whole New York Focusing community, the Restoring Connection Community and the whole international community of focusers. She acknowledged other circles too, personal, familial, and professional. And ultimately, we are all part of the GREAT CIRCLE of LIFE. She then lit the candle in the middle to represent the Source of all life. Next she invited each to say their name and she lit a candle and repeated the name. All were invited to access a welcoming attitude toward each person named as each person would try to take in and feel the welcome. She asked that we notice how that felt during this. After naming, she led a brief guiding as we rested our attention on the lit candles inviting us to sense that place where we were responding to them and the naming/welcoming exercise. She invited people to share their experiences. All appreciated the richness of that sharing. Elizabeth then explained that one item in her packet was her personal Focusing history called “My Relationship with Focusing”. Currently she is a therapist in NYC and belongs to a study group that has been together for 3 years. It was this group that gave birth to this Restoring Connection model. They brought varied training backgrounds but all shared Focusing. Through this group she was intent on finding more ways to create safety for her clients in therapy when they touched on something disturbing or unnerving. She saw a clear need for more of a holding environment to offer them. She acknowledged that the human condition often a disconnection from ourselves and from our body’s connection to the divine. Her group began to have transpersonal experiences in a spiritual realm that were hard to deny or ignore. The Restoring Connection model evolved with a deep respect for the body-mind-spirit bond. Understanding the components of this model begins with an appreciation of how a Resilient Nervous System works. She had a perfect handout to illustrate this. Often in therapy (and in life) our nervous system becomes over activated by a highly charged stimulus. What can help de-activate is a tangible grounding which serves to restore connection to the person’s anchor. That is the first component of this model. The second component is Mindfulness. Simply bringing awareness to and noticing something is a basic and powerful place to begin. It introduces people to “Presence” which in the world of Focusing is a sense of me bearing witness to my experience and being mindful of how I’m doing that. The third component is a Gentle-Holding-Presence which requires that one be grounded, fully present, in the moment, awake, alive and totally in the now. One also needs to gently hold that present experience with unconditional positive regard. Fourth comes Resourcing. A resource is anything life affirming that makes you feel comfortable and secure. We have both inner and outer resources. Resourcing is an active way of working with your resources in order to produce a “relaxation response” (Herbert Benson). This allows you to feel held while going deeper into your experience and eventually healing wounded parts. Fifth is the TRUE SELF/PURE ESSENCE which resides in each of us and can present in various forms without our wounding. RC provides guided experiences for directly connecting with the TRUE SELF or PURE ESSENCE including specific aspects of it. She described a beautiful experience illustrating this as it happened to a member of her group. Sixth involves tapping into the Heart Center as a resource where unconditional love and acceptance reside. Programs like Heart Math can help as well as gentle guiding. Ultimately one can tap into and heal deep heart aches. The seventh component is the actual process of FOCUSING. The eighth and ninth components are more advanced and come later in her work with an individual or a group. These are The Energetic Relational Field and Healing the Wounded Child. The later was influenced by the work of Nancy Napier, especially her parts work. A full written description of the model, includ ing references can be found on her website www.restoringconnection.com. Next, Elizabeth led us all in a guided process using the beautiful picture in our packets. People shared very powerful experiences including an energetic process that came, a pulsing like a heartbeat, a spiritual felt sense, an awareness about life, death. (Just to name a few.) In conclusion she read an excerpt from Black Elks Vision and guided us to process how we heard that and invited us to express whatever ima ge, sound or gesture came. Then, in closing she said: “I invite you to bring your awareness back to the lighted candles in the bowls. And when the candles are blown out, may you sense your light still shining within. My hope is that tonight’s presentation served as a bellows to fan the spark inside you. Yes, we are living in challenging times, times of great uncertainty. Yet, we are being given so much…May what’s transpired during the time we’ve spent together be for your higher good, having a ripple effect, in turn fanning the spark within whomever you may encounter.” Networking Time Naomi Glicken reminded all that there were tables in the hallway covered with Flyers and announcements about local Focusing activities. During the 20-minute networking and refreshment break that followed, Justin Jacobs’ efforts to provide some piano music were thwarted by a number of impaired keys in the resident piano. (We’ll hope they get put right before the June meeting.) Refreshments were enjoyed nonetheless and people connected over various topics and experiences. Marketplace and NY Metro Focusing Services Naomi then introduced a lively Marketplace session in which members announced a whole range of Focusing-related events. Here below are the cont act details of those who provided information. Please make use of them and forward them to colleagues who might have an interest. NY Metro Focusing also announced some new resources:- (1) a list of certified Focusing professionals who offer in-person introductory Focusing workshops in the area; (2) a list of the Focusing Changes Groups in the area. These two lists were available at the meeting and are being emailed separately. A third new resource, the New York Metro website, is at an early developmental stage. We are looking for someone with an interest in learning simple website maintenance under the technical guidance of Griff Feeney. A writer or two is also needed to help develop the content. If you have the time and interest to participate in either of these website roles please email Cynthia Callsen at cyncall@aol.com
The Marketplace offerings can be found on a separate page
Close of the Meeting
In closing the meeting, Cynthia Callsen thanked Elizabeth Lehmann for her moving and inspiring presentation and also thanked Joanne Stickles for undertaking to compile the notes on that presentation. Cynthia added that at the next meeting, on Friday evening June 12th, all members of NY Metro Focusing will have an opportunity to help shape its future direction and, with that theme in mind, she looked forward to a large attendance at that meeting.
I would like especially to thank Joanne Stickles and Larry Hurst for their wonderful work in putting out these Notes and lists in record time. I would also like to thank Rick Savage, Elizabeth’s husband, for recording our meeting, and also the entirety of Elizabeth’s Restoring Connection group for all they contributed to the emergence of of this new Focusing experience. Cynthia Callsen
Notes were generously prepared by Joanne Stickles
Notes from NY Metro Focusing Meeting March 27, 2009
Cynthia Callsen warmly welcomed the group of more than 40 attendees. She introduced Elizabeth Lehmann with gratitude for her sharing with the group her “Restoring Connection” model. Presentation Elizabeth had set a lovely small, cloth-covered table with two large decorative bowls. Each was filled with water and floating candles. In between them was a large single candle. Elizabeth welcomed the group and explained that her presentation would use all the allotted time tonight so there would be a Q & A follow- up teleconference on Sunday evening (3/29) from 8:00 – 9:00 p.m. Directions for participating in that w ere in the packet she provided. The packet was a folder which also included an outline of her presentation, handouts she referred to in her talk and an amazing 8 x 10 color photograph of a lake scene in the fall called “As Above, So Below”. It also contained a CD of Restoring Connection guided exercised for our use at home. She then began by describing one of her core beliefs which is how important it is that we each trust our own inner knowing, which we call the felt sense. She explained that she would be leading the group in some guided experiences and that we should first trust our own higher wisdom if we needed to ignore one of her suggestions. If something doesn’t feel right, honor what does. During the opening grounding/centering guiding experience she led the group to an inner place where we could anchor ourselves. Then she said: “During tonight’s presentation, at some point you might experience some activation, a sense of feeling unsettled. Perhaps you have already. Just know that experiencing activation is a completely natural part of the human experience. When you notice activation, invite yourself to simply bring your awareness back to your home base, your anchor, and the places in your body where you’re feeling more settled, more supported, more grounded. Allow yourself to connect more and more with those places until you notice you’re more settled. At that point you’ll probably notice your attention returning naturally to the presentation”. She explained the bowls and that the candles floating there were circles within circles. She invited us to notice that our gathering was a circle of people that exists within many larger circles including the whole New York Focusing community, the Restoring Connection Community and the whole international community of focusers. She acknowledged other circles too, personal, familial, and professional. And ultimately, we are all part of the GREAT CIRCLE of LIFE. She then lit the candle in the middle to represent the Source of all life. Next she invited each to say their name and she lit a candle and repeated the name. All were invited to access a welcoming attitude toward each person named as each person would try to take in and feel the welcome. She asked that we notice how that felt during this. After naming, she led a brief guiding as we rested our attention on the lit candles inviting us to sense that place where we were responding to them and the naming/welcoming exercise. She invited people to share their experiences. All appreciated the richness of that sharing. Elizabeth then explained that one item in her packet was her personal Focusing history called “My Relationship with Focusing”. Currently she is a therapist in NYC and belongs to a study group that has been together for 3 years. It was this group that gave birth to this Restoring Connection model. They brought varied training backgrounds but all shared Focusing. Through this group she was intent on finding more ways to create safety for her clients in therapy when they touched on something disturbing or unnerving. She saw a clear need for more of a holding environment to offer them. She acknowledged that the human condition often a disconnection from ourselves and from our body’s connection to the divine. Her group began to have transpersonal experiences in a spiritual realm that were hard to deny or ignore. The Restoring Connection model evolved with a deep respect for the body-mind-spirit bond. Understanding the components of this model begins with an appreciation of how a Resilient Nervous System works. She had a perfect handout to illustrate this. Often in therapy (and in life) our nervous system becomes over activated by a highly charged stimulus. What can help de-activate is a tangible grounding which serves to restore connection to the person’s anchor. That is the first component of this model. The second component is Mindfulness. Simply bringing awareness to and noticing something is a basic and powerful place to begin. It introduces people to “Presence” which in the world of Focusing is a sense of me bearing witness to my experience and being mindful of how I’m doing that. The third component is a Gentle-Holding-Presence which requires that one be grounded, fully present, in the moment, awake, alive and totally in the now. One also needs to gently hold that present experience with unconditional positive regard. Fourth comes Resourcing. A resource is anything life affirming that makes you feel comfortable and secure. We have both inner and outer resources. Resourcing is an active way of working with your resources in order to produce a “relaxation response” (Herbert Benson). This allows you to feel held while going deeper into your experience and eventually healing wounded parts. Fifth is the TRUE SELF/PURE ESSENCE which resides in each of us and can present in various forms without our wounding. RC provides guided experiences for directly connecting with the TRUE SELF or PURE ESSENCE including specific aspects of it. She described a beautiful experience illustrating this as it happened to a member of her group. Sixth involves tapping into the Heart Center as a resource where unconditional love and acceptance reside. Programs like Heart Math can help as well as gentle guiding. Ultimately one can tap into and heal deep heart aches. The seventh component is the actual process of FOCUSING. The eighth and ninth components are more advanced and come later in her work with an individual or a group. These are The Energetic Relational Field and Healing the Wounded Child. The later was influenced by the work of Nancy Napier, especially her parts work. A full written description of the model, includ ing references can be found on her website www.restoringconnection.com. Next, Elizabeth led us all in a guided process using the beautiful picture in our packets. People shared very powerful experiences including an energetic process that came, a pulsing like a heartbeat, a spiritual felt sense, an awareness about life, death. (Just to name a few.) In conclusion she read an excerpt from Black Elks Vision and guided us to process how we heard that and invited us to express whatever ima ge, sound or gesture came. Then, in closing she said: “I invite you to bring your awareness back to the lighted candles in the bowls. And when the candles are blown out, may you sense your light still shining within. My hope is that tonight’s presentation served as a bellows to fan the spark inside you. Yes, we are living in challenging times, times of great uncertainty. Yet, we are being given so much…May what’s transpired during the time we’ve spent together be for your higher good, having a ripple effect, in turn fanning the spark within whomever you may encounter.” Networking Time Naomi Glicken reminded all that there were tables in the hallway covered with Flyers and announcements about local Focusing activities. During the 20-minute networking and refreshment break that followed, Justin Jacobs’ efforts to provide some piano music were thwarted by a number of impaired keys in the resident piano. (We’ll hope they get put right before the June meeting.) Refreshments were enjoyed nonetheless and people connected over various topics and experiences. Marketplace and NY Metro Focusing Services Naomi then introduced a lively Marketplace session in which members announced a whole range of Focusing-related events. Here below are the cont act details of those who provided information. Please make use of them and forward them to colleagues who might have an interest. NY Metro Focusing also announced some new resources:- (1) a list of certified Focusing professionals who offer in-person introductory Focusing workshops in the area; (2) a list of the Focusing Changes Groups in the area. These two lists were available at the meeting and are being emailed separately. A third new resource, the New York Metro website, is at an early developmental stage. We are looking for someone with an interest in learning simple website maintenance under the technical guidance of Griff Feeney. A writer or two is also needed to help develop the content. If you have the time and interest to participate in either of these website roles please email Cynthia Callsen at cyncall@aol.com
The Marketplace offerings can be found on a separate page
Close of the Meeting
In closing the meeting, Cynthia Callsen thanked Elizabeth Lehmann for her moving and inspiring presentation and also thanked Joanne Stickles for undertaking to compile the notes on that presentation. Cynthia added that at the next meeting, on Friday evening June 12th, all members of NY Metro Focusing will have an opportunity to help shape its future direction and, with that theme in mind, she looked forward to a large attendance at that meeting.