11/21/08 Meeting Notes
NY Metro Focusing Meeting – Friday 21 November 2008
Theme: “Catching the Spark Between Us”
Presenters: Lynn Preston and team Introductions
Following half an hour for registration, refreshment and informal interaction, Cynthia Callsen welcomed the group - 48 people were present - thanked everyone involved for their contribution, and introduced meeting facilitator Anne Schollar.
Anne welcomed everyone and called attention to two people especially available to newcomers with questions, Larry Hurst and Katya Salkinder. People were then invited to introduce themselves by name. Newcomers were invited to identify themselves as such if so inclined. Ann then turned to Jude Cobb for a focusing lead-in to the program.
Jude asked the group to settle into the room and with each other and to make a space for Lynn Preston’s presentation, saying that it would be wonderful and fun. Jude suggested taking a moment to notice how it is to be with this group of people with a common interest in focusing, and to sense how each person experiences him/herself in our nation right now, at this point in our history, and then how it is to be part of the whole world community. She then turned the meeting back to Ann.
Ann introduced Lynn Preston as a gifted teacher, clinician, and author and noted that she is the founder and director of the Focusing-Oriented Relational Psychotherapy training program, which is in its fourth year. She is also Co-Director of Training and Research at the Institute for Self Psychology, Co-Director of the Cape Town South Africa Focusing-Oriented Therapy program, and that she also teaches at the Institute for Contemporary Psychotherapy in New York. She brings depth, understanding, joy and excitement to her work, Ann said, and “I know you are going to enjoy her presentation!”
———————————-
Synopsis (Key words: Emergence, Relational, Explication, Community)
Lynn thanked Ann and invited everyone present to participate by offering comments or asking questions during the presentation. This is a program about the “relationality” of focusing, she said, adding that she expected that we would have a wonderful time exploring what th is is.
Lynn noted that when she found Gene Gendlin’s work in the early 1970s it felt like a coming home to her, and that she has taught it and experienced it ever since.
Another side to this wonderful thing Lynn found with Gene Gendlin, was what she calls relationality—for community, for the intimacy of experiencing other people, and for wanting to know all the ways of doing this in the therapy relationship.
All of Gene Gendlin’s work, his philosophy, focusing, thinking at the edge, proceeds from the study of emergence. Emergence captures two things: how experience is discovered every moment, and how experience is created. It brings together this dual notion of discovering and creating. Every moment brings something new.
First, this kind of experience comes with a palpable felt sense of something we are trying to get at, of something that wants our awareness. It may come as a body sense, as an atmosphere, as a mood.
Second, emergence comes with fresh, often unusual language. It is not the language people use when they have said the same thing before. Emergence is the implicit becoming explicit.
Third, when this sense comes, it comes with “bells ringing.” We experience a sense of aliveness. The room comes alive; the body comes alive. And there is a sense of release.
Fourth, when emergence happens, there is a small (or large!) step of change. The situation hasn’t changed, but we’ve changed. We have a new relationship to the situation.
Fifth, emergence can be encouraged by waiting—welcoming—inviting—looking for the fresh word—allowing stillness—slowing down—by going to the edge of experience, where we don’t know, and learning to tolerate not knowing—learning to welcome not knowing as a road to something new.
Sixth, this “it,” this emergent new experience, can talk back to us. We can “ask into it.” We ask, and “it,” something in our body self, answers back.
Lynn then recounted a recent discussion with Gene Gendlin in which they reaffirmed that Focusing by its very nature is relational. We human beings are interaction. The body we have is an interactional body. We are our environment.
At this point Lynn introduced Robin Kappy and Susan Rudnick to guide the group in a focusing journey. The group was guided to notice how the palpable Felt Sense in one’s inner space is in interaction with the outside space of the meeting room. In the first half of the exercise the group was asked to notice any concerns in one’s life. In the second half we were asked to name a blessing, something that feels good in one’s life. In each instance we were asked to write first the concern, and later the blessing, on a card, walk to the middle of the room, place the card on the floor, and as you do, to say out loud the concern or blessing. In closing the group was asked to sense how each person was, in this room, with this “interrelated quilt of concerns and blessings.”
Following that exercise, Lynn said that she hoped it gave us a sense of how, when we focus inside, we are sensing what is outside as well.
She went on to say that one of the elements of emergence is the idea that where the implicit and the explicit touch, is the edge of awareness from which the new comes. This meeting brings a burst of energy. This is true of a relationship. When we have this experience of connectedness, it comes with zest, clarity, and the desire for more.
Someone speaking of spiritual experience once said that “it is not so much that we want to know the answer as to be known; it’s not so much that we want to find, as to be found.” In both cases, what we want is relationship. It is not just knowing oneself, but being known by another.
The particularity, the intricacy of the relationship is ongoing every moment, informing and being informed, and that we need to be in touch with this level all the time. So to Lynn, relational focusing means bringing the tool of focusing to the relationship, focusing on the relationship, focusing with understanding of all the complexity of the relationship. We are always focusing in relationship.
Lynn makes the further point that relationality isn’t equivalent to feeling close. You are just as much related when you are distant as when you are close. It20is not true that more closeness means more relationship and more distance means less relationship.
Lynn then introduced Ruth Rosenblum, for an exercise about building community and building relationships.
Ruth asked the group to find a partner or a 3-some and to get to know one another. At the end of 5 minutes she asked us to reflect on 3 questions: 1) How were you reaching out towards the other? How did you feel yourself engaging with the other? 2) How did you sense the other reaching out towards you? 3) How were you as a couple or a group? What words come that would describe you as a couple or a group? Ruth then asked everyone to share what came within the partnership or 3-some.
Lynn then drew the session to a close.
———————————————-
At the conclusion of the exercise there was a break for refreshments and information interaction, followed by the NY Metro Focusing Community Marketplace. Joan Lavender presided, calling for anyone present with something to share to volunteer it. A record was made, and it follows below.
Following the market place, facilitator Ann Shollar closed the meeting with a focusing lead-out, thanking all for their presence and contributions.
MARKETPLACE : Joan Lavender Presiding.
Below are items from our NY Metro Focusing MarketPlace at our 11/21/08 meeting.
Marketplace Listings (Please contact as below for up-to-date detai ls for attendance):
-TFI :Introducing Focusing Workshop level two, Jan 24th 9:30-4:30
-TFI two one year trainings, March: Charlotte Howorth www.focusing.org/itop
-Gene Gendlin on Relationality, Dec.14th 4:30-8:30 TRS Suite: Lynn Preston 212-995-8116
tristatefocusing@focusinginstitute.org
-Witnesses for sevenshift focusing workshop with Robert Lee, Dec 10th 3:00-8:00:
Gail Rosen 212-722-5859 Robert@focusingnow.com
-Small group Tenmonth course(4-6), Dec.6th 2:00-6:00: Robert Lee Robert@focusingnow.com
-Deepening your Focusing Practice, Jan 11th 11:00-2:00: Jude Cobb, Lori Ketover, Joanne Stickles
jrstickles@aol.com
-I, You, Us Workshop Sun Dec 7th - 1:00-5:00 Susan Rudnick: Haikususan@aol.com
-Brush Up Your Focusing: larry.hurst@focus-in-touch.com
-Changes groups, 3rd Fri. eve/1st Sun eve.next Dec 7th: Larry Hurst 917-595-6884
larry.hurst@focus-in-touch.com
-The Focusing Partnership program, TFI: Lori@focusing.org
-Reflections on Psychotherapy (written) Susan Rudnick IAFOT Haikususan@aol.com
-Website Training by helping to set up NY Metro Website: Griffith Feeney feeney@gfeeney.com
-Open music circle: Phillip Foster oddsandends@earthlink.net www.myspace.com/openmusiccircle
-Clearing a space inside and outside: Robin Kappy, LCSW 917 626-1517, robinkappylcsw@verizon.net
and Nicole Abramovice, professional organizer 917-716-5598. Please let us know of your interest in our February seminar.(Date to be determined.)
-Visual Experiencing and Self-Discovery: Janet Pfunder and Robin Kappy : Janetpfunder@yahoo.com
-Training program in RFOP 2 years, begins Mon.eve in January: Lynn Preston 212-995-8116
-Lotusvoice and dance open house, Korean Buddhist , Dec 7th http://www.lotusmusicanddance.org
-Coach and psychology interventions: Oshikan 646-454-0569 osbunse@yahoo.com
-Forensic accounting: Nick Barone
212-228-1372 917 626-1517
NY Metro Focusing Meeting – Friday 21 November 2008
Theme: “Catching the Spark Between Us”
Presenters: Lynn Preston and team Introductions
Following half an hour for registration, refreshment and informal interaction, Cynthia Callsen welcomed the group - 48 people were present - thanked everyone involved for their contribution, and introduced meeting facilitator Anne Schollar.
Anne welcomed everyone and called attention to two people especially available to newcomers with questions, Larry Hurst and Katya Salkinder. People were then invited to introduce themselves by name. Newcomers were invited to identify themselves as such if so inclined. Ann then turned to Jude Cobb for a focusing lead-in to the program.
Jude asked the group to settle into the room and with each other and to make a space for Lynn Preston’s presentation, saying that it would be wonderful and fun. Jude suggested taking a moment to notice how it is to be with this group of people with a common interest in focusing, and to sense how each person experiences him/herself in our nation right now, at this point in our history, and then how it is to be part of the whole world community. She then turned the meeting back to Ann.
Ann introduced Lynn Preston as a gifted teacher, clinician, and author and noted that she is the founder and director of the Focusing-Oriented Relational Psychotherapy training program, which is in its fourth year. She is also Co-Director of Training and Research at the Institute for Self Psychology, Co-Director of the Cape Town South Africa Focusing-Oriented Therapy program, and that she also teaches at the Institute for Contemporary Psychotherapy in New York. She brings depth, understanding, joy and excitement to her work, Ann said, and “I know you are going to enjoy her presentation!”
———————————-
Synopsis (Key words: Emergence, Relational, Explication, Community)
Lynn thanked Ann and invited everyone present to participate by offering comments or asking questions during the presentation. This is a program about the “relationality” of focusing, she said, adding that she expected that we would have a wonderful time exploring what th is is.
Lynn noted that when she found Gene Gendlin’s work in the early 1970s it felt like a coming home to her, and that she has taught it and experienced it ever since.
Another side to this wonderful thing Lynn found with Gene Gendlin, was what she calls relationality—for community, for the intimacy of experiencing other people, and for wanting to know all the ways of doing this in the therapy relationship.
All of Gene Gendlin’s work, his philosophy, focusing, thinking at the edge, proceeds from the study of emergence. Emergence captures two things: how experience is discovered every moment, and how experience is created. It brings together this dual notion of discovering and creating. Every moment brings something new.
First, this kind of experience comes with a palpable felt sense of something we are trying to get at, of something that wants our awareness. It may come as a body sense, as an atmosphere, as a mood.
Second, emergence comes with fresh, often unusual language. It is not the language people use when they have said the same thing before. Emergence is the implicit becoming explicit.
Third, when this sense comes, it comes with “bells ringing.” We experience a sense of aliveness. The room comes alive; the body comes alive. And there is a sense of release.
Fourth, when emergence happens, there is a small (or large!) step of change. The situation hasn’t changed, but we’ve changed. We have a new relationship to the situation.
Fifth, emergence can be encouraged by waiting—welcoming—inviting—looking for the fresh word—allowing stillness—slowing down—by going to the edge of experience, where we don’t know, and learning to tolerate not knowing—learning to welcome not knowing as a road to something new.
Sixth, this “it,” this emergent new experience, can talk back to us. We can “ask into it.” We ask, and “it,” something in our body self, answers back.
Lynn then recounted a recent discussion with Gene Gendlin in which they reaffirmed that Focusing by its very nature is relational. We human beings are interaction. The body we have is an interactional body. We are our environment.
At this point Lynn introduced Robin Kappy and Susan Rudnick to guide the group in a focusing journey. The group was guided to notice how the palpable Felt Sense in one’s inner space is in interaction with the outside space of the meeting room. In the first half of the exercise the group was asked to notice any concerns in one’s life. In the second half we were asked to name a blessing, something that feels good in one’s life. In each instance we were asked to write first the concern, and later the blessing, on a card, walk to the middle of the room, place the card on the floor, and as you do, to say out loud the concern or blessing. In closing the group was asked to sense how each person was, in this room, with this “interrelated quilt of concerns and blessings.”
Following that exercise, Lynn said that she hoped it gave us a sense of how, when we focus inside, we are sensing what is outside as well.
She went on to say that one of the elements of emergence is the idea that where the implicit and the explicit touch, is the edge of awareness from which the new comes. This meeting brings a burst of energy. This is true of a relationship. When we have this experience of connectedness, it comes with zest, clarity, and the desire for more.
Someone speaking of spiritual experience once said that “it is not so much that we want to know the answer as to be known; it’s not so much that we want to find, as to be found.” In both cases, what we want is relationship. It is not just knowing oneself, but being known by another.
The particularity, the intricacy of the relationship is ongoing every moment, informing and being informed, and that we need to be in touch with this level all the time. So to Lynn, relational focusing means bringing the tool of focusing to the relationship, focusing on the relationship, focusing with understanding of all the complexity of the relationship. We are always focusing in relationship.
Lynn makes the further point that relationality isn’t equivalent to feeling close. You are just as much related when you are distant as when you are close. It20is not true that more closeness means more relationship and more distance means less relationship.
Lynn then introduced Ruth Rosenblum, for an exercise about building community and building relationships.
Ruth asked the group to find a partner or a 3-some and to get to know one another. At the end of 5 minutes she asked us to reflect on 3 questions: 1) How were you reaching out towards the other? How did you feel yourself engaging with the other? 2) How did you sense the other reaching out towards you? 3) How were you as a couple or a group? What words come that would describe you as a couple or a group? Ruth then asked everyone to share what came within the partnership or 3-some.
Lynn then drew the session to a close.
———————————————-
At the conclusion of the exercise there was a break for refreshments and information interaction, followed by the NY Metro Focusing Community Marketplace. Joan Lavender presided, calling for anyone present with something to share to volunteer it. A record was made, and it follows below.
Following the market place, facilitator Ann Shollar closed the meeting with a focusing lead-out, thanking all for their presence and contributions.
MARKETPLACE : Joan Lavender Presiding.
Below are items from our NY Metro Focusing MarketPlace at our 11/21/08 meeting.
Marketplace Listings (Please contact as below for up-to-date detai ls for attendance):
-TFI :Introducing Focusing Workshop level two, Jan 24th 9:30-4:30
-TFI two one year trainings, March: Charlotte Howorth www.focusing.org/itop
-Gene Gendlin on Relationality, Dec.14th 4:30-8:30 TRS Suite: Lynn Preston 212-995-8116
tristatefocusing@focusinginstitute.org
-Witnesses for sevenshift focusing workshop with Robert Lee, Dec 10th 3:00-8:00:
Gail Rosen 212-722-5859 Robert@focusingnow.com
-Small group Tenmonth course(4-6), Dec.6th 2:00-6:00: Robert Lee Robert@focusingnow.com
-Deepening your Focusing Practice, Jan 11th 11:00-2:00: Jude Cobb, Lori Ketover, Joanne Stickles
jrstickles@aol.com
-I, You, Us Workshop Sun Dec 7th - 1:00-5:00 Susan Rudnick: Haikususan@aol.com
-Brush Up Your Focusing: larry.hurst@focus-in-touch.com
-Changes groups, 3rd Fri. eve/1st Sun eve.next Dec 7th: Larry Hurst 917-595-6884
larry.hurst@focus-in-touch.com
-The Focusing Partnership program, TFI: Lori@focusing.org
-Reflections on Psychotherapy (written) Susan Rudnick IAFOT Haikususan@aol.com
-Website Training by helping to set up NY Metro Website: Griffith Feeney feeney@gfeeney.com
-Open music circle: Phillip Foster oddsandends@earthlink.net www.myspace.com/openmusiccircle
-Clearing a space inside and outside: Robin Kappy, LCSW 917 626-1517, robinkappylcsw@verizon.net
and Nicole Abramovice, professional organizer 917-716-5598. Please let us know of your interest in our February seminar.(Date to be determined.)
-Visual Experiencing and Self-Discovery: Janet Pfunder and Robin Kappy : Janetpfunder@yahoo.com
-Training program in RFOP 2 years, begins Mon.eve in January: Lynn Preston 212-995-8116
-Lotusvoice and dance open house, Korean Buddhist , Dec 7th http://www.lotusmusicanddance.org
-Coach and psychology interventions: Oshikan 646-454-0569 osbunse@yahoo.com
-Forensic accounting: Nick Barone
212-228-1372 917 626-1517